Saturday, August 15, 2009

Random Thoughts!

Random Thoughts!
  • There is nothing made that can't be made cooler by attaching lasers to it.
  • If you cannot mimic the Doppler effect, don't even try making train sounds.
  • If you do something stupid and you're single, chances that you'll be caught hover around 45%. If you're married, it hovers around 110%.
  • War is hell. It's also true that hell can be found in the center of a freshly nuked Pepperoni Hot Pocket.
  • Someone once commented that it would be refreshing if everyone just honestly stated what was on their minds without holding back. Refreshing in the "Great Snowy Leopard, I've dipped my eyeballs in hot wax!" kind of way.
  • If a cat is upside down, it's important to remember that 83% of the exposed appendages are loaded with sharp pointy things.
  • You're the only one that thinks that making a marriage proposal while copying Scooby Doo is funny.
  • Dogs actually don't like to be hugged. Unfortunately for them, dog hugging is probably 10x more potent than any anti-depressant on the market today.
  • Say what you will, but sometimes a person just needs a greasy cheeseburger, fries and a shake to make it through the day.
  • Sometimes the quietest person, when gone, is the one you miss the most.
  • Nietzsche said that the thing that does not kill us will make us stronger. If not, at least you'll have some cool scars to show off.
  • Waterboarding torture techniques have been deemed cruel and unusual. The same could be said for Poetry Readings.
  • The phrase, "HA! You'll never take me alive!" is not the proper response to, "Knock knock".
  • Genetic experimentation gone wrong is the most likely explanation for Velveeta cheese.
  • No matter how cute they look, rubbing your face on the tummy of a Siberian Tiger is not a good idea.
  • The harder you try to imitate the lingo of a younger generation, the more you look pathetic.

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