More Random Ten Counts

Things that really bug Santa:

• Hot, muggy nights over Miami.
• Those joker elves that gave the reindeer chili con carne on December 23rd
• The big black belt that really chafes on those long Trans Atlantic flight.
• Two words: Dirty Flues
• Sugar free chocolate chip cookies and skim milk
• Stinkin' Easter Bunny keeps trying to borrow the sleigh for some date night
• Wool allergies
• Strangers that keep dropping his name in conversations
• Elf Unions
• Congestion over O'Hare

Shows that Never Made it to Prime Time:

• Race to REM Sleep!
• Identify That Fungus!
• Cooking with Paste
• Barbara Walters Interviews Various Second Grade Teachers
• The Kia Racing Circuit
• Grammar Wars!
• American Dominos Championships
• Humorous Anecdotes from Accounting
• Velveeta Cheese Architecture Throughout Wyoming
• X-Treme Snail Racing

Concert Tours that Died Before They Even Started:

• Jethro Tull and Barry Manilow
• Jefferson Airplane with Barry Manilow
• Boston opening for Barry Manilow
• The Fleetwood Macilow Tour
• Streisand/Manilow duets
• Luciano Pavarotti and the Copa Cabana Band
• Barry Manilow in the Talking Heads Tribute Tour
• John Tesh/Barry Manilow "I'm In A Coma" Tour
• Bryttney Spears and Barry Manilow Dance Mix Concerts
• The Barry Manilowapalooza

New Flavors from Coke:

• Diet Coke and Jalapeno
• Sprite with Lye
• Classic Coke with Radiator Fluid
• Fanta Avocado
• Minute Maid Broccoli-Ade
• Diet Coke with Stuff We Found Under the Fridge
• Deep Fat Fried Barq's
• Canada Dry Banana Ale
• Powerade Salted Pork
• Coke and Clam

Shampoo/Conditioner scents:

• Mint and Plastic Bed Sheets
• Ocean Spray with Dead, Dried Kelp Sprinkles
• Meadow Muffin
• Tingly Tire Iron
• Cranberry with Crankshaft Oil
• Dandruff Control with Hospital Air Scent
• Basil 'n' Gravel
• Cilantro Salsa Blends
• Herbal Tabasco
• Subtle Marinara with Extra Hold

Signs That We've Gone Too Far:

• Root Beer with Real Roots!
• Low Fat Pork Rinds
• Olive Oil That's More Virgin Than Your Ugly Aunt Gertrude From Fremont
• John Denver: The Club Dance Mix
• Fiber Cereal So Potent, You Better Eat This In The Bathroom
• Low Sugar, Low Cholesterol, Low Sodium, Low Fat, High Fiber, High Protein Oreos.
• The Pacifistic, Unarmed and Peace Loving Army Men Toy Set
• Prius Hot Wheels
• Black and Decker Liposuction Wet/Dri Vac
• Old Growth Man and Ozone Girl Fighting Global Warming Man and his CFC Henchmen on Saturday cartoons