Friday, August 26, 2011

This Day in History 26AUG11

This day in history!!! (It's been a while since I've done this, so, hopefully, your tolerance is up):

55 BC: Julius Caesar invades England. The Romans move steadily into the interior of the island, but mayhem ensues as the forces near London. It appears that no one informed the Romans about driving on the left or how to negotiate the roundabouts.

1346: During the Hundred Year's War, the English longbow proves to be superior to the French crossbow. Apparently, the English longbow would've been a really good idea 1400 years previously when Julius came around town.

1429: Joan of Arc makes her triumphant entry into Paris. She was only 17 at the time and she only had about two years to go before she was burned at the stake. Had she known that beforehand, she might've spent some time down in Marseilles during Spring Break.

1498: Michaelangelo is commissioned to carve the Pieta which became one of the most exquisite works of art known to man. Unfortunately, the first attempt by the Master was a total mistake as Michaelangelo misunderstood the contract. Even so, when Michaelangelo was done, it was the most beautiful marble carving of a pepperoni and sausage pizza ever.

1789: In France, the newly formed National Constituent Assembly of France approved the Declaration of the Rights of Man and of the Citizen. Up to then, only the Man had rights and the Citizen was completely left out of the process. This was a big step in equal rights for all Citizens everywhere!

1814: The Chilean War of Independence: The Battle of Las Tres Acequias. It originally started out as the Battle of Las Dos Acequias, but another Acequias showed up at the last moment without an invitation and the whole thing had to be renamed.

1883: Krakatoa blows up. No, really, it seriously blows up. Vaporizes. The island in the South China Sea just up and explodes. It's important to point out at this time that Zane had nothing to do with it.

1944: World War II: Charles DeGaulle enters Paris. He, however, doesn't look nearly as cute as Joan of Arc so the turnout isn't as good.

1966: The Nambian War of Independence starts with the battle at Omugulugwombashe. Although this is the official start of the war, people usually site the battle of Crimsha as the first battle because no one can spell Omugal.. Omuguluggawa... that other name.

1970: The feminist movement, led by Betty Friedan, leads a nationwide Women's Strike for Equality. You know, after they made the dinner and put the kids to bed first.

1977: The Charter of the French Language is adopted by the National Assembly of Quebec. No one's been able to understand a thing they've said since.

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