aaaaand ANOTHER TEN COUNT!

The Harry Potter books were a smash. They follow the life of a young wizard up until he gets to 17. But what books can we expect now that he's an adult?

• Harry Potter and the Deviant Tax Forms
• Harry Potter and the Day Old Bagel Dilemma
• Harry Potter and the Road Rage Incident
• Harry Potter and the Bad Service at Subway
• Harry Potter and the Round of Lay Offs at Work
• Harry Potter and the Receding Hairline
• Harry Potter and the "Failure to Commit" Speech from the Girlfriend
• Harry Potter and the Middle Aged Spread
• Harry Potter and the Jury Duty Summons
• Harry Potter and the Parent/Teacher Conferences

Headlines from Dr. Seuss' World:

• Horton Pleads Insanity
• The Stars on Thars Terrorist Plot
• Green Eggs Found to Have E Coli
• The Grinch Blames Tax Hikes for Foul Mood
• Hatted Cat Busted for Criminal Trespass
• The Lorax Pays for Deck Made with Endangered Woods
• Contract Negotiations Break Down in Yertle the Turtle Talks
• Hopping on Pop Caused Burst Appendix
• Thing 2 Quits: Refuses to Be Just a Number
• Economy Forces Bart Cubbins to Sell Off Hats

Little Known Faery Tale Facts:

• Before she made it into the Big Time, the Little Mermaid broke into the movie biz as Aquaman's girlfriend.
• Sleeping Beauty actually suffered from insomnia and had to fake all the sleeping scenes
• Cinderella was first billed as Francesca, the Glass Shoe Wearing She-Pirate, but the demographics didn't like it.
• In the first drafts, Hansel and Gretel were able to escape from the Witch's cottage with the help of his AK-47 and a few judiciously placed K-Bar knives.
• Humpty Dumpty's demise was caused by a huge oversight by the King's Men. Not one of the people on scene thought to dial 911.
• The whole Red Riding Hood debacle could have been avoided if the State had given Red her concealed weapons permit as she asked.
• Goldilocks' parents were eventually brought up on Child Endangerment charges for allowing their daughter to roam freely through Bear houses.
• Regardless of rumor, Rip van Winkle only slept for 15 years. The remaining 5 years were spent hanging out in Monterey, CA.
• Rumplestiltskin wasn't a dwarf at all. He was a stock broker from Manhattan. "Spinning straw into gold" is just a euphemism for trading risky stocks.
• Rapunzel was actually doing hard time in Solitary Confinement when the "Prince" busted her out. They were both later caught at the Kentucky border.

Superman's other fears besides Kryptonite:

• Too much starch in the tights.
• Getting the shirt inside out and being the laughing stock at the Hall of the League of Justice
• Letting loose with a Supersized burp and causing some serious wind damage to the Fortress of Solitude.
• Lending Lex Luthor the Game Cube and NOT getting it back.
• That his dad really does look like Marlon Brando
• That Lois Lane thinks that Jimmy Olsen is hotter than he is.
• That the phone booths aren't as private as he thought
• That someone will catch on to the whole "spin the earth backwards to reverse time to play the winning lottery numbers" trick.
• All the superpowers in the world cannot reverse the bald spot
• That Supergirl has a bigger fan base than him.