Saturday, May 21, 2011

Star Trek Lists!!

Failed Star Trek movie productions:

The Bath of Khan
Red Shirted Ensigns' Revenge
Battle of Shatner's Corset
Memorial Day Picnic and the Romulan Ale Incident
Kingon's Green Collar Comedy Tour

Vulcan Bit Players:

Borek: Owner/Operator of the 7-Eleven on Broadway and Soquel Ave.
Dontgivvahek: Professor of Apathetic Studies at Starfleet Academy
Sornek (aka "Giggles"): Vulcan comedian.
Francinek: Jewish Vulcan Shadchan (matchmaker) for Pon Farr.
Larry: Early Vulcan traveller who's name was changed at Ellis Island in 1897.

Forbidden Items in the Food Replicator:

Pickled Beets
Shrimp Flavored Ramen
Velveeta Cheese
Brussel Sprouts
Gefilte Fish

Most Requested Items in the Food Replicator:

Ham Twice Baked Potatoes
Dan-o Sandwiches
Buster Bar Blizzards
Chocolate Covered Bacon (thanks, Chris. )

Other Uses for Tribbles:

Dishwashing scrubbers
Review Mirror Decorations
Cat Toys
Linked together, they create the much sought-after Tribble Trench Coat

Future Star Trek Crossover Movie Ideas:

Care Bear Adventures on Qo'noS (Klingon home planet)
Predator v. Kirk
Aliens: Amok on USS Enterprise
Beverly Hills 90210: Starfleet Academy Years
Seinfeld on the Bridge of the Enterprise

Other Gene Roddenberry Ideas:

Star Geckos: Lizards that roam around the galaxy looking for succulent banana leaves.
Star Flex: Muscle bound idiots lost in the Steroid Nebula
Deep Space 1408: Space Station that has all sorts of bad luck.
Star Trek: The Next, Next, Next Generation: Wherein Kirk's great-great-great granddaughter works as a janitor onboard the USS Wonky Biscuit.
Enterprise, the Ultimate Prequel: Set in the year 1937 and following the life of Greg "Goofy" Kirk and his experimental car body shop.

Scandals Aboard the Enterprise:

When it comes out that Scotty was actually Welsh.
Sulu's DUI in the Delta Sector. He blew a 1.2 while piloting a Grissom class research vessel.
When they found that when Spock was on watch on the bridge, he was secretly recording episodes of Sponge Bob for later viewing.
Dr. McCoy's moonlighting job as a Chippendale dancer in Boston.
Lt. Uhura caught cheating on the Casino moon of Anderal-6.

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