Monday, June 13, 2011

Things I'd Like To Do While On A Long Flight

Things I'd like to do on a long plane flight but I know I never will:

Halfway through the flight, pull down a big duffle like bag. Tell the person next to you that it's your parachute then ask them where their 'chute is.

Create a rumor that the old lady that's sleeping in 4F is the Air Marshal.

Knock on the cockpit door and yell, "Hey, what's keeping you so long? I gotta GO!".

Build a nine hole mini golf course throughout the cabin.

Keep staring out the window and tell people, in a William Shatner voice, "There's.... somethingonthewing!"

Try to climb into the overhead compartment and ask the stewardess for a pillow and a blanket.

Tell everyone you see that Bob Seeger is up in first class and he's going to film his next music video while in flight.

Start a Karaoke party, but only play instrumental music.

During the inflight movie, keep asking the stewardess for popcorn, Milk Duds and a large Coke.

When it's the most quiet in the cabin, quickly stand up and shout, "Oh, Geez! Who cut one?!"

While looking out the window, tell your rowmate that you would swear the plane passed that wave twenty minutes ago.... You're flying in circles! You're lost!

Calmly stand up, get to the middle of the aisle in the center of the plane and yell, "It's DANCIN' TIME!" and start groovin'.
Tell the lead stewardess that she shouldn't be scared, but Elvis is loitering in the bathroom. Again.

If you're in first class, take a peek back into the coach section then tell your other firsties that the peasant class and the rabble are rioting with pitchforks and torches! Hide the silver!

If you're in coach, take a peek up into the first class section and then tell the rest of the peasant class and rabble of the elitist scum and bourgeois pigs that are trampling the rights of us, the citizens of the world! Viva la Revolucion!

Half way through the flight, put on a WWI pilot's costume, complete with scarf and pilot's hat and start heading to the back, explaining to other passengers that you need to man the tail gun as you're now flying over enemy territory.

Tell the guy two rows back that it's his turn to go to the cockpit and fly for a spell.

Start walking to the back of the plane. Start to laugh and say, "I CANNOT believe how easy it was to take those handcuffs off!"

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