Monday, April 4, 2011

Random Observances

Some Random Observations of Life:
  • Über-nerds don't move their arms when they walk.
  • Never borrow crayons from people who meticulously use the crayon sharpener. They'll never be happy with the returned crayon.
  • The word, "Fine" has waaaaay too many definitions for everyday conversation. It's best left for the professional talkers.
  • The building of one's burrito is a very private thing and should never be allowed to be done by strangers.
  • No matter how interesting it is, the movie, "Ghostbusters" wasn't based on fact.
  • Mimicking Sean Connery does not readily translate to mean that you will be as much of a chick magnet as Sean Connery.
  • Making serious, long lasting relationship decisions via text message should be avoided at all cost.
  • A man with a small, nearly hairless dog in his shirt pocket should be not be allowed to mingle with society.
  • The same goes for a man with a large, muscle bound dog on a stainless steel leash and collar.
  • You have the freedom of speech. Apparently, you also have the freedom of stupid. Try not to combine the two.
  • Pancakes have almost no nutritional value. They do, however, exude in Vitamin Happy.
  • Most of the best comebacks in the world occur two hours after the conversation has ended.
  • Using a spice or a seasoning simply because it sounds good is not the best use of your culinary time.
  • I'm thinking that most of the caustic and troubling issues brewing in the world could be solved by making a happy, wagging dog the General Secretary of the UN.
  • If Pirates had hired Ninjas, history would've been much more interesting.
  • The truth must come out. Kids: You probably will never have to use geometry or write in cursive. There. I said it.
  • The ancient Egyptians used to bury their pharaohs with food so that they will have something to eat in the afterlife. I'd like the four meat pizza, please, with pepper jack cheese.
  • At some point, we have to ask if Snow White would've really taken that apple from the creepy old woman.

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