Thursday, September 30, 2010

Just a few more....

  • The flame decals on your Kia don't fool anyone.
  • If your motorcycle has panniers, saddle bags, a tank bag, a sidecar and it tows one of those little trailers behind, then you might be missing the point, methinks.
  • Ever look back upon the fashions of twenty years ago and ask, "What the heck was I thinking?"
  • Taking a cell phone with you on vacation defeats the "getting away" aspect.
  • If you argue and debate about the strategies and tactics used by the characters of a zombie movie, then you probably need to lighten up a smidge.
  • Those pants never make her butt look big. Never. Neh. Ver. Nevernever.
  • Yes, you have the right to say, "Whatever" to your dad just as he has the right to Gerber slap you into tomorrow.
  • Just know that many things written online can be misconstrued due to the lack of body language and tonal inflections.
  • Unless the phrase is, "I hope you suck on rocks and choke, you leaking bag of lutefisk." It's hard to misinterpret that, you know?
  • I think, sometime in the near future, we'll be able to tell our grandkids about our childhoods when we'd sit around and recklessly eat peanuts by the handful.
  • The people that lived through WWII are often called "The Greatest Generation". Sorta sucks the wind out of our motivational sails, yeah?
  • The word, "Feckless" doesn't get used nearly enough.
  • To those people that continually get stellar check-ups from the dentist's office every six months: No one really likes you, OK? Freakin' Dentist's pet.
  • Diets are good. Portion control, counting calories, eating light, all that. But at some point a man must answer the call of the wild to go out and bag himself a big, greasy cheeseburger, fries and a shake.
  • Hey, I can respect those that are smart, witty, good looking, talented and wealthy just as they can respect that I'm... uh... oh, nevermind.
  • To avoid embarrassment, you should know that in formal debates, the phrase, "I hope you eat fanged death, you mutant!" isn't really allowed.
  • Though it should be.
  • You will rarely hear someone request extra cumin at a restaurant.
  • Yes, the people flying in first class are eating better food than you. But remember, they also will be the first to be squashed when the plane flies into the side of that mountain. There's some comfort in that.
  • When you hear the phrase, "Comfort Food", you should translate it in your head to mean, "This is what we cobbled together to eat when we were too poor to buy groceries."
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