Sunday, June 14, 2009

As most of you know, Tif and Jonathan are staying with us for a few weeks. This is a great opportunity for Lisa and I as we haven't had a lot of time with the grandbaby. I've been able to spend some quality moments with Jawathan (not a spelling error, btw). So far, I've taught him some of the fundamental and traditional tribal dances from our family. In exchange for this treat, he has been able to give me access to some of his thoughts:
  • I'm not really sure what I want right now. I'm not hungry or sleepy. I'm not thirsty and there really isn't anything that I want. I guess the best plan right now is to keep crying until something comes along.
  • Oh, wow. Did I just puke? I can't believe I just did that in public. My bad.
  • Whoa, whatever Grandpa just made is completely loaded with cheese. I think I love him.
  • Gads, here comes that dog with the ginormous tongu.... ugh... all over the face. Yeah, I need a towel.
  • OK, Grandma, I get it. No, really. I get the idea. Yeah, yeah, I love you, too. Seriously, now. ALRIGHT, PYSCHO LADY, QUIT KISSING ME!
  • Note to self: Sharing toys with Dog will most likely void the aforementioned toy's warranty.
  • Not too sure what I should be doing right now.... Sooo... I guess blowing spit bubbles is in order.
  • No, look, when I cry like that, it means that I want steak and potato, not that slimy green stuff in the little jar.
  • LEGS! LEGS! WORK WITH ME NOW! C'mon, if that geezer Grandpa can walk, I should be able to, right?
  • Oooo, fuzzy kitty.... I wonder what happens when you pull on the.... OK, I really hope that becomes a manly scar at some point.
  • Are you seriously going to make me wear that? Oh, you are SO going to regret my teenage years.
  • What's with you? That's not a "Aww-Isn't-He-Cute" face. It's a "I'm-Gonna-Hurl-Lunch" face. Just sayin'.
  • No. No way. I'm tellin' you, if you put me in that car seat one more time, I'm gonna... well, do THAT. Now change my diaper. Again.
  • I have no idea why you're all upset. I don't recognize you because from the ankles down, you all look the same.
  • Do you all sound that way? Is that even a language? What the heck does, "Goo goo diddums" even mean? 
  • Wait, you're telling me that it's going to take me fifteen more years before I can even hope to be considered "hulking"? Oh, that sucks.
  • Whoa. Have I got a Super Colon or what? Wow.
  • No, I have no idea what the slimy substance is on my hand. That's why I wiped it on you.
  • Yeah, that's right. I'm crying. Again. Wanna know why? Well, let's see. You're eating something out of a container that says, "Ben & Jerry's", while I, on the other hand, am eating something out of a container that says, "Strained Peas". I think this mystery is solved, mmKay?
  • Oh, please. Not the Five Cheeky Monkeys story again. C'mon. Read me some Cussler or Koontz for a change. At this point, I'd even take a hallucinogenic Dr. Suess.
  • You know, after the first few bites, the dog's food isn't so bad.
  • OK, Dog. Step away from the stroller. I have a weird plastic toy and I'm not afraid to use it.

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