Sunday, June 14, 2009

You're not going to believe this, but I just found Kona's journal. Here are some of the entries from the last few days:
  • OK, so a tall nice looking blond comes into my den. That's OK, but there's this other, smaller version that came in with her. I've been told that it's not a toy. Riiiiight.... It looks like a toy, sounds like a toy and feels like a toy. It's a toy. And it's all mine.
  • The thing about this small human is that it has no hair. What's with that? No hair. The other humans have some hair, not nearly enough to cover all the pink, but they have hair. But this lap human has a just a hint of hair on top of the head, and that's it. Oh, dude, you're gonna be sooooo cold in the Winter.
  • This little human, hereafter called Baby, makes this noise called crying. Wow. Little body, a whole lotta sound. Note: Barking at crying Baby does not solve problem. Must bark louder next time.
  • Baby was just sitting there and the Blond wasn't paying attention. Look, the Baby was a mess. His face totally covered in... I don't know, whatever it calls food. So, I cleaned him. Nothing special, just the face, the neck, behind the ears and the hands. I was just trying to help. The Blond gets all up in my face about it. Whatever.
  • Whoa.... the Baby thing has no teeth. Seriously. Well, OK, there are a couple of little white Chicklets on the front of the bottom jaw, but that's it. The thing is, what, eight months old? Oh, this thing is seriously defective.
  • This Baby is a whole cornucopia of smells. And not all of them are good, let me tell you.
  • Rex next door lied to me. Cheerios taste nothing like bacon. I ate nearly the whole box and not one of those little O's had even an inkling of bacon. I hate to say it, but I'm really disappointed in that.
  • The Baby sleeps kinda funny. I suppose that's OK, but in order to make sure everything's OK, I have to keep poking him with my nose, which, of course wakes him up. Apparently, this is some sort of "Wrong" that has me going outside. Sheesh.
  • OK, is it just me or does this not sound fair? You pull my ears or my tail, I drag you around by your diaper. Sounds totally fair. Obviously I'm the only one that thinks so here.
  • I'm an easy sort of Dog. I consider myself to be pretty laid back and happy go lucky. I don't ask for much, really. Just. Don't. Touch. The. Rawhide.
  • Oh, WOW! The Baby opened his mouth today and stuck out his tongue! I nearly fell over laughing! That's not a tongue! That's more like a Wanna Be Tongue, or a Practice Tongue! Geez, how does he even drink?

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